This morning started out with difficulty – I was battling. But I know that when I’m feeling low and overwhelmed the best thing I can do is take the focus off of myself and my own situation. So as I sat at the kitchen counter with my head in my hands I prayed, “Lord, please just give me someone to love today.” And you know – our Lord is faithful. 

 Tuesday mornings start with us going to Elusitwini – a home for women coming out of abuse or other life destroying situations. This morning they didn’t have a whole lot for us to do. Another lady from church had come to teach classes to the women all morning, so they were busy, but the children did need looking after. So while their mothers were in class – us girls pulled out some craft supplies and tried to keep the kids entertained. 

 Of course, two year olds only enjoy colouring for a matter of minutes, so once they were done with that we moved on to playing in the yard with the few toys and balls that they had. Shortly after we started playing one of the boys walked over to me, touched my leg a little, then looked up and stretched up his arms. As soon as I picked him up his little chin found a place on my shoulder – my heart melted. It was exactly what I needed.

 We found ourselves a chair in the shade and after inspecting and rubbing my arm hair for awhile he proceeded to fall asleep on my lap with his head leaning on my chest. Inwardly I thanked God. He provided me with someone I could love on that morning – and I think many would agree that there is nothing that soothes the soul like holding a little child in your arms (well, preferably one that is calm and/or sleeping). 

Tuesday afternoons we spend ministering to people at the public government hospital in Mbabane, the capital city of Swaziland. Today we visited a women’s ward – and it was jam packed. As you can probably imagine, Swazi hospitals aren’t exactly up to North American standards. Our team divided into groups and began going from patient to patient, talking and praying with them. 

About halfway through the ward my group came upon a young woman who had recently tried to kill herself by overdosing on pain killers. Though she was open to us praying for her, and seemed happy to see us, she made it clear that she didn’t want to share with us about the situation that lead to her trying to take her own life. It wasn’t that I clearly heard God’s voice, or that I felt pressured by anyone or even myself, but I knew I had to stay behind and talk more with this girl. I didn’t feel nervous – I wasn’t afraid of what I should or shouldn’t say. I just really wanted to talk to her, probably because I identified with her – I’ve experienced that darkness. And so, here was my second answer to prayer – another soul to love on. 

As my group walked away I sat down on the edge of her bed and asked her if it would be alright if I stayed and talked with her for awhile. She smiled and said yes, and then the story began pouring out – along with tears. She knew her boyfriend was running around with other girls, and she knew she deserved better, but there was one big problem – she had contracted HIV from him. She felt like she could never leave him, even with him cheating on her, because she felt like no other man would ever accept her or love her because of her status. She’s too afraid to tell her parents – she knows how angry and disappointed they will be. And it’s her that they rely on to take care of them. She doesn’t have a job right now, she has applied to be in the army, but as soon as they test her for HIV she will be kicked out. And she says she knows God – but she can’t see how He can fix her life. She just wants the HIV to be gone. 

Now – it seems so easy. I should be able to tell her, “Leave that guy! There is a man out there that will love you regardless of your status, a man of God who will really care for you!” But I can’t. Yes, it’s possible that God will bring a man like that into her life – but it’s true that in Swaziland those men are rare, even among Christian men, and sometimes more so. I should be able to tell her, “Talk to your parents – yes, they will be upset and disappointed, but they are your source of support! They are your family. They love you no matter what.” But again, I can’t. Yes, it’s possible that her parents would get over their anger and disappointment and turn to supporting her – but it’s true that in Swaziland her family could also find out and turn her out. That their disgrace would be so heavy that they would abandon her to herself – that they would never support her in anything ever again. 

So what can I say? If I was enduring her circumstances would I put myself in the same situation? Probably. It feels hopeless even just hearing it in someone else’s life. 

But that’s where the only solution can be Jesus. The only way to have joy and peace is truly in the supernatural – truly in the Lord. Because there is no human solution to her situation. Only the Son of God can bring light into such a dark situation – and I pray that He will. And I pray that she will accept it – and fight for it. 

We exchanged contact numbers so I hope to hear from her more in the future. I know, and I told her, that God is not done with her yet. She survived for a reason. God spared her life because He has a future for her and a HOPE! (Jeremiah 29:11) And though God has the power to heal her from HIV, He may not – but regardless of her status, Jesus does promise to heal her life! Amen and amen.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 30th, 2011 at 3:55 pm and is filed under Katie Froese. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.