This last week has been just great! What an amazing way to end off the year. Amy and I were both telling Allan that we thought it was the best week of the year when he reminded us that that was only because it was a week built off of the entire year. It wouldn’t have been as special  had we not experienced all of the previous experiences. Very true.

So Tuesday and Wednesday we went to Potter’s Wheel, our home church, for a morning of prayer, worship, and teaching. They were really great encouraging and refreshing times for the entire team, and also the entire church I think. Everyone had just been feeling tired and worn down, which is why they decided on holding these services, specifically for everyone involved in the various ministries of the church. It was great.

Thursday the team went to visit Allan’s friend Julie’s ministry in Manzini. Julie works with AIM and she helps run a program that allows women in rural communities to sew handbags and then Julie sells them. The women then receive a salary based on the amount of bags they have sewn for the month. The income provided by this project is a major blessing to women – especially since they are able to sew the bags at home which means they can still take care of their house and children while supporting the family. The bags that these ladies make are super cute – and I may or may not have bought some to take home…

On Friday Jane, the on Farm nurse, had asked our team if we would help her with a “Gogo party” that she was putting on. Pretty much what that means is 8 Gogos (Grannies) and 2 Mkhulus (Grandpas) came over to the Farm and we treated them to breakfast, a foot spa (with toe nail painting!), some games, and lunch. I have to say – it was one of my favorite times yet. It was such a blessing to be able to rub the feet of these gogos who are so often forgotten about by their children and their communities. It was funny, because the power was out (hello rainy season!), and we were upset because we wanted to play a music dvd for the gogos while they were doing the foot spa. But since we had no power, we opted to sing to them as we did their feet, every siSwati song that we knew! The Lord obviously wanted it to be that way because it turned out that was the highlight for the gogos! They were all so impressed hearing these white girls singing in their language. They laughed and laughed. I just love them.

Friday night we celebrated our year of youth with all of the Farm youth and TCMI students. We had all the kids over to our backyard for s’mores – which turned into a bunch of kids just popping chocolate and marshmallows in their mouths versus actually making s’mores. But it was fun! We cranked some tunes inside the house and after a few minutes the party turned inside – to a dance off! The girls took one side of the living room and the boys took the other. It was hilarious!  And of course all of these kids are crazy dancers. Personally, I didn’t stand much of a chance in the dance off, but they clapped for my trying anyways.

At the end of the night we gathered everyone and took turns giving some speeches, first the leaders, and then the youth. One of the guys said, “You guys will leave wounds in our hearts – because you are leaving, but you are now our family.” You can probably imagine that it got pretty emotional. After speeches the evening was done, but all of us leaders made a receiving line by the door and hugged each kid on the way out. As we got to the end of the line the song “I’m coming home” came on and yes, I know it’s lame, but I was tearing up! What he said was true – we have become family. In my speech I told them that I loved each one of them, but what I thought about later was that, it’s not even that I just love each of them. I actually LIKE each one of them! I enjoy their company so much! And I’m going to miss them terribly.

Saturday we again assisted Jane with another party on the Farm, this time for a few orphaned kids from the community. It was really cute and fun with games, food, face painting, etc. I think the kids really enjoyed it.

One of the kids, Siyabonga (which means “we thank you”), had such a sad story. He was 7 years old but Dudu, one of the community workers who came to help, told me that he takes care of a small baby. His mom spends her time out drinking and is rarely home, and his gogo works in a salon in Mbabane, so she isn’t home a lot of the time either. Many times he doesn’t even go to school because he stays home to take care of the baby. How can such a small child take care of a baby? Fortunately, Siyabonga has good women like Dudu and Patricia looking out for him. They will often cook meals for him and look out for him when no adults are around. Lots of kids in Swaziland aren’t that lucky.

After knowing his story I was especially excited to watch him playing and enjoying himself at the party – and after the face painting he looked more like a tiger than a little boy! I again felt blessed to be a part of blessing others.

Saturday evening I was invited over to my house family to celebrate my sister Ncami’s 15th birthday! When I got there I realized it was a little more than a family celebration – 2 other Farm families were there as well as a few random extra Farm people. We enjoyed ourselves greatly, eating, chatting, and of course ending the evening with watching a football match on t.v. I was also invited to spend the night so of course I stayed up late with my sisters chatting and being silly. Though the whole evening was great, I couldn’t help but also feel sad. This family has become my own. I am theirs. It’s going to be so hard to say goodbye.

All in all, it’s been a great, but sad, week. Honestly, I’m not ready to leave. The time has gone by so fast, it feels like I was just at home last weekend! Yes, of course I’m excited to see all my Canadian loved ones, but I can’t help but mourn about leaving my Swazi ones. I love them. And I hope that someday we will meet again, but if not on this earth, I know we will in heaven.

We’ve been busy these days – but it’s been nice! Even though we’re coming to the end of our time here at Hawane the days are full of things to do.

Saturday we, the volunteers, hosted a group of 160 Sunday School kids from our community church as well as a partner church. The ages ranged from 2-13, with most kids falling around the age of 5 or 6. It was quite the crazy day!

We started out the day with some of the Farm’s youth and TCMI students leading the kids in praise and worship, and then followed by a ginormous icebreaker of Simon Says, led by me.  We set up different stations of games, stories, drama, and bible learning and divided the kids into teams, about 16 kids per volunteer. Each station lasted about 10 minutes and then we would whistle for everyone to rotate stations. It worked great! The kids arrived around 9am and we finished up the program with a short word from Clever about the love of God at 12:30. Then – it was time to feed the masses! But even that went very smooth and orderly. The whole day was fantastic. It was great to demonstrate God’s love to those precious, beautiful little kids just by playing with them and loving on them with our own hands and feet.

Monday we made plans to take out all the house mothers and fathers of the orphan homes on the Farm for a nice lunch at Timbali Lodge in Ezulwini, the swanky part of Swaziland. Each of us volunteers has adopted a home, and thus a mother (and sometimes father), over the last year, so this was our way of thanking them for all their hospitality and love – and also to let them know how much we love and appreciate them! It was so much fun.

All of the house moms dressed in their best and we had a great time chatting, trying to decide what to order, and of course eating (dessert included!). We have grown to have close connections with our house moms, but we don’t get to spend a lot of time with them on the Farm, so it was nice to have the afternoon just to enjoy each others company – away from work! It was obvious that the moms also really appreciated the time off work and away from the Farm, and to be recognized for all of their hard, hard, work! You see, when teams come in they often put on nice events for the Farm kids, which makes sense, but the moms are mostly left in the background. For that reason the day was extra special, to them, and to us.  I very much enjoyed seeing the moms relax and enjoy – the day will go down as one of my favorite memories from our year.

One other special thing happened today, Tuesday, during hospital ministry. I met a princess! Yes, that’s right – a real genuine princess. One of the elderly ladies I prayed for in the hospital was a sister to the King, same mother and same father, which is a big deal here in Swaziland since the Kings all have many wives. The Princess’s daughter was there visiting her and she explained this all to me. When she left she even addressed her mother as Princess! I felt quite honored to have had the opportunity to pray for a Swazi Princess.

The hospital was also special today because we didn’t have a translator for most of the time so I went around, mostly by myself, just talking and praying with people. Oddly, all of the women I visited could speak English! Which is quite rare at the hospital. It was a very encouraging visit and I really enjoyed chatting with the patients and hearing their stories. Today was also our last hospital visit – I guess it’s good that it was a memorable one. I will miss our hospital visits.

We continue to wind down our time here at the Farm and also our time as a part of this internship. It’s bitter sweet. I feel that each of us has developed some level of wings over the course of this year, and each of us is also getting anxious for the opportunity to stretch them, to try them out, and see if we will fly. God knows that we will. And when our wings fail us, He will be there to catch us.

This morning started out with difficulty – I was battling. But I know that when I’m feeling low and overwhelmed the best thing I can do is take the focus off of myself and my own situation. So as I sat at the kitchen counter with my head in my hands I prayed, “Lord, please just give me someone to love today.” And you know – our Lord is faithful. 

 Tuesday mornings start with us going to Elusitwini – a home for women coming out of abuse or other life destroying situations. This morning they didn’t have a whole lot for us to do. Another lady from church had come to teach classes to the women all morning, so they were busy, but the children did need looking after. So while their mothers were in class – us girls pulled out some craft supplies and tried to keep the kids entertained. 

 Of course, two year olds only enjoy colouring for a matter of minutes, so once they were done with that we moved on to playing in the yard with the few toys and balls that they had. Shortly after we started playing one of the boys walked over to me, touched my leg a little, then looked up and stretched up his arms. As soon as I picked him up his little chin found a place on my shoulder – my heart melted. It was exactly what I needed.

 We found ourselves a chair in the shade and after inspecting and rubbing my arm hair for awhile he proceeded to fall asleep on my lap with his head leaning on my chest. Inwardly I thanked God. He provided me with someone I could love on that morning – and I think many would agree that there is nothing that soothes the soul like holding a little child in your arms (well, preferably one that is calm and/or sleeping). 

Tuesday afternoons we spend ministering to people at the public government hospital in Mbabane, the capital city of Swaziland. Today we visited a women’s ward – and it was jam packed. As you can probably imagine, Swazi hospitals aren’t exactly up to North American standards. Our team divided into groups and began going from patient to patient, talking and praying with them. 

About halfway through the ward my group came upon a young woman who had recently tried to kill herself by overdosing on pain killers. Though she was open to us praying for her, and seemed happy to see us, she made it clear that she didn’t want to share with us about the situation that lead to her trying to take her own life. It wasn’t that I clearly heard God’s voice, or that I felt pressured by anyone or even myself, but I knew I had to stay behind and talk more with this girl. I didn’t feel nervous – I wasn’t afraid of what I should or shouldn’t say. I just really wanted to talk to her, probably because I identified with her – I’ve experienced that darkness. And so, here was my second answer to prayer – another soul to love on. 

As my group walked away I sat down on the edge of her bed and asked her if it would be alright if I stayed and talked with her for awhile. She smiled and said yes, and then the story began pouring out – along with tears. She knew her boyfriend was running around with other girls, and she knew she deserved better, but there was one big problem – she had contracted HIV from him. She felt like she could never leave him, even with him cheating on her, because she felt like no other man would ever accept her or love her because of her status. She’s too afraid to tell her parents – she knows how angry and disappointed they will be. And it’s her that they rely on to take care of them. She doesn’t have a job right now, she has applied to be in the army, but as soon as they test her for HIV she will be kicked out. And she says she knows God – but she can’t see how He can fix her life. She just wants the HIV to be gone. 

Now – it seems so easy. I should be able to tell her, “Leave that guy! There is a man out there that will love you regardless of your status, a man of God who will really care for you!” But I can’t. Yes, it’s possible that God will bring a man like that into her life – but it’s true that in Swaziland those men are rare, even among Christian men, and sometimes more so. I should be able to tell her, “Talk to your parents – yes, they will be upset and disappointed, but they are your source of support! They are your family. They love you no matter what.” But again, I can’t. Yes, it’s possible that her parents would get over their anger and disappointment and turn to supporting her – but it’s true that in Swaziland her family could also find out and turn her out. That their disgrace would be so heavy that they would abandon her to herself – that they would never support her in anything ever again. 

So what can I say? If I was enduring her circumstances would I put myself in the same situation? Probably. It feels hopeless even just hearing it in someone else’s life. 

But that’s where the only solution can be Jesus. The only way to have joy and peace is truly in the supernatural – truly in the Lord. Because there is no human solution to her situation. Only the Son of God can bring light into such a dark situation – and I pray that He will. And I pray that she will accept it – and fight for it. 

We exchanged contact numbers so I hope to hear from her more in the future. I know, and I told her, that God is not done with her yet. She survived for a reason. God spared her life because He has a future for her and a HOPE! (Jeremiah 29:11) And though God has the power to heal her from HIV, He may not – but regardless of her status, Jesus does promise to heal her life! Amen and amen.

If time can fly, that was July. (I didn’t even mean to make that rhyme!) But really, the month passed in a whirlwind – though it was a really great whirlwind!

 Amy and I were very fortunate to have our families come and visit us here at Hawane. We left to pick them up from Johannesburg on the 5th of July and then spent the next three weeks together – doing ministry and having a little vacation time too. Our families were able to experience our day to day life, doing devotions in the morning with the TCMI students, sitting in on our discipleship times with Jon and Jude, coming along to the hospital ministry, community outreach, and other things we do during our weeks. They were also able to experience working with the Luke Commission, one of our favorite ministry times, and prison ministry, which was a first time for all of us.

Though I was very blessed to see my family, I think I was more excited about them seeing and experiencing Hawane. On one of the first days, during morning devotions with the students, we were paired off to pray together and my dad was paired together with a young man who is battling with HIV/AIDS. I could tell my dad’s heart was very touched by this young man because he kept asking me questions about him. During the time my family was here the young man fell ill, staying in bed all day almost every day. One day though, while the other students were away at choir practice, he came out of bed to try to get warm in the sun. My dad saw him sitting outside and went over to talk with him. And then they sat there talking, without a break, for over three hours! Seeing my dad open his heart up to this young man, and seeing this normally quiet and un-talkative student open up to my dad, was very moving. For the rest of the visit my dad continued to visit the young man and gave him some magazines to keep him busy during his days in bed. God knew. He knew that they needed each other, even if it was only for a short time.

Going on family vacation was a lot of fun, relaxing, and refreshing. Though, by the end of the week I was ready to get back to my Hawane home and family. After we got back from vacation in St. Lucia we spent one more day together on the Farm and then it was time to say goodbye. I don’t think anyone was ready to go home though. That’s the thing about Hawane, it really sticks to you.

Since the families left we’ve continued to be busy, busy, busy. We hosted an awareness dinner for Challenge Ministries Swaziland (the ministry that Hawane Farm is a part of) where the Deputy Prime Minister of Swaziland and one of the King’s sons attended. And we’re getting ready to say goodbye to farm managers Wafuka and Lily, and our team leaders, Jon and Jude. Though the goodbyes are sad, we are happy to send them out, Wafuka and Lily to go start a new Teen Challenge center in Zambia, and Jon and Jude to start fundraising for Challenge Ministries back in the UK. And of course we are over the top excited to welcome our new/old leaders Allan and Annie to Swaziland!! We can’t wait to see you guys

God has been speaking to me a very simple scripture lately, Luke 1:37, “For no word from God will ever fail.” Through this God had been speaking to me two major things:

1. God speaks to me. I am worthy to be spoken to. I don’t have to get to a certain “level” of spirituality before God can speak to me. He speaks, I just have to listen.

2. What God speaks to me, I can trust in. When I hear God speak, and I know deep in my heart of hearts that it is God, I don’t have to doubt. James 1:6 says, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” So when I ask God about something, and He answers, and I know in my heart of hearts that it is God speaking, I must not doubt. I must not second guess myself saying, “Oh maybe that was just me speaking.” I believe that we know deep in our spirits when it is the Lord. I need to learn to trust that.

Well, August is already well on its way! And what a great month it will be. We’re counting down the days until you get here Allan, Annie, and baby Judah!!

Spending the week working in Mamelodi was exactly what I needed. Honestly, I wasn’t even very excited about it to begin with. But I fell in love with Mamelodi.

Mamelodi is a township on the outside of Pretoria, the capital city of South Africa. There is a vibe in Mamelodi that is unexplainable. I just felt – ready. I felt like I was at the beginning of a sprint, just waiting for the gun to go off. It’s like there’s so many people around at any given moment – so many people who need Jesus, who need shelter, who need food, who need many things. There is so much need – and yet such strength. I can’t explain Mamelodi. All I can say is that I fell in love.

Since Jason and Cara were flying out of Johannesburg to go back to America, and they didn’t have a working vehicle, they needed to get driven to the airport. So the Farm leadership let us take the opportunity to take the week and visit the ministry that Clever was working with in Mamelodi before he came to Swaziland. Amy and I stayed with a friend of Allan’s who lives in Pretoria while the guys stayed with friends in Mamelodi. (For those of you who don’t know Jo’burg and Pretoria are almost attached they are so close, only about half an hour drive between the two.)

Being in Mamelodi, as a white person, you become blatantly aware of the colour of your skin. I’ve never thought about being white like I did when I was in the township. There aren’t ANY white people around. I’m pretty used to it by now, being the only or one of the only whities in a crowd, but when your skin being white could seriously question your safety, your awareness is at a whole different level. But saying that – I never felt unsafe in Mamelodi, not for a second. I know that it is more dangerous than your average neighborhood, but I didn’t feel that. The people I met were so kind. So generous. So normal! I didn’t see any gangstas on the street corners, though I’m sure there sometimes are. Maybe I’m just naive – but I feel like a lot of the hype about townships, a lot of the fear, is really a fear of race (which doesn’t even exist – ask my human geography prof!).

So what did we do in Mamelodi? Well – we did a lot of meeting – meeting people. Which I love – because really, I just love people! We visited a lot of gogos, including gogo Macindi, whom we visited in January with Allan and whose house was where we first met the guys! We also attended the youth group from the Powerhouse church on Monday night, and then Tuesday night had the opportunity to lead the group. It was awesome to spend time with the youth – they were so passionate! Giving one hundred and ten percent in the games, singing with all their hearts, and praying like they were laying their souls bare before the Lord. It was so beautiful. So refreshing.

We also met many of Clever and Wonder’s friends from before they came to Swaziland. Joel – the crazy, intense worship leader at Powerhouse from Zimbabwe. I was blown away by his voice and the songs he wrote that he sang for us. We also walked around an outdoor mall singing “My Soul Says Yes!” on our last day together in Pretoria, and gathered a small crowd wherever we went. (Amy and I think we have found a new outlet for ministry – flash mob!) Nicky – the “supposed-to-be” team member who never quite made it onto the AR team because he chose to stay with his job. We never let him live it down! He’s hilarious though, loves cartoons and gets the “shake shakes” when he drinks something cold. And there are so many more amazing people that I miss so much already. I literally almost cried when it came time to say goodbye – how could I make such good friends in only a few days?

I can’t wait to go back to Mamelodi. Though I’m happy to be serving here at the Farm, I can really feel God growing in me a heart for doing urban ministry. There’s something about the bustle of a city, or of the township, that just burns a passion inside of me. I think it’s because I love people so much. I love being around loads of people. I love all of the sights, and sounds, and smells. I love just being able to walk around and talk to people on the street. But I also know that God’s place for me right now is here at Hawane – in this rural setting. But I’m really hoping that God is going to be opening some doors for us to build relationships in the community around us more – because up until now we haven’t really had that opportunity. And that’s something I really feel in my heart we are called to – relationships. I just want to go out and talk to people! Pray for us in that area – I know my team is feeling the same.

One of the things I love about AR though is that part of the experience is just that – experiencing! The heart of AR is really to have us experience a range of different ministries in different places and to see what God’s doing in different areas through different people. And to maybe begin to see in which area God is leading your heart for the future. I’m excited. Mamelodi was refreshing to my spirit. I feel ready. Ready to get started – again!

A season of change is on us here at Hawane. In May we’ll be saying goodbye to many of our volunteers – our lovely Swedish friends Emelie, Lina, and Julia, as well as lovely Kirsty from Scotland. So we’ll be downsizing – from 7 girls in our house to 3. It’s going to be quite change. Much quieter. And possibly much cleaner! Really though, we’re going to be missing them all terribly. But on a positive note – we get to spend 4 days relaxing and spending time together before they leave – in Mozambique on the beach!

This week the kids on the farm are on school holidays. Unfortunately for them, it doesn’t actually mean they get a break from school because here at Hawane we have Holiday School! Even though it might not be so fun for them, so far for us it’s been a blast. It’s been a great change of schedule, change of pace, and change of environment. I’m working with the teenage kids mostly – but we’ve spent a lot of time doing “math” bingo and playing hangman to practice spelling and English. So maybe it’s not too bad for them either!

This month we, the AR interns, are reading No Compromise – the Keith Green Story. And wow. If you haven’t read it – GO GET ONE RIGHT NOW! The passion, desire, and drive that Keith had were incredible – after finding the truth, Jesus.  Keith searched long and hard, through many different spiritual paths and religions, until he found the truth. And then he ran with it. Just the way he and his wife Melody lived their lives together is amazing.

But I was talking to Amy the other day about being radical. What I said was that “radical” people usually don’t realize what they’re doing is radical. To them they are just doing what makes sense – just taking the opportunities God has placed in front of them. Radical people don’t go out looking to do something radical. To them it seems normal. They just know it’s what they should do. So they do it. I don’t think we have to go looking for something “radical” to do with our lives. If we just take the opportunities that God places in front of us, if we just say “yes”, if we just obey! That is being radical. But in order to listen we have to be willing to open our ears. We have to wake up and realize God might be calling us to be very uncomfortable – in fact he is!

One of the lyrics that really hit me hard from the book was this:

To obey is better than sacrifice

I don’t need your money I want your life

And I hear you say that I’m coming back soon

But you act like I’ll never return

Well you speak of grace and my love so sweet

How you thrive on milk but reject my meat

And I can’t help weeping at how it will be

If you keep on ignoring my Word

To obey is better than sacrifice-

I want more than Sundays and Wednesday nights.

Cause if you can’t come to me every day,

Then don’t bother coming at all.

It’s a harsh word. And it’s debatable (the last line), but really – think about it. Don’t just throw it away automatically. Think about it.

I was sitting on my sisi’s bedroom floor at my Make’s (mah-gay – my house mom) surrounded by hands stroking, brushing, and pulling my hair when I realized – I am in love. I love them so much. Not only were the little girls there, but also my Make – wanting to get in on the action of playing with my hair. I almost felt tears in my eyes because of the complete joy that was in my heart. I just can’t believe how I’ve been blessed with a home away from home – a family away from my family. And I know it’s not only that I love them – but they really love me.

I thought I should tell a little bit more about my amazing family! Phiwa (Pee-wah) is the youngest, only 4, and she is a constant reminder of my little cousin Izzy. Same crazy personality. Same crazy faces. She always knows just how to make my day. The other day at preschool she called to me from across the yard, “Sister Katie!” (which all of my sisters and most of the kids on the farm call me) and I said, “Hi Phiwa!” and she says, “You’re beaauuuuutiful!” How can your heart not melt at that? Anele is the next oldest, 7. She’s darling. She is probably the shyest of my sisters but once she warms up she is a total cuddle-bug. Anele always wants a hug, or to sit with her head on my shoulder, and unlike Phiwa, she’s content to just sit beside me and let me comb her hair. Notando is next up at 10 years old. She is not the shy one! Though she can be a little quiet at first she soon opens up and will show you a million and one different games to play. Tando – as we call her – is a really bright girl, full of ideas and energy, always, always with a smile on her face. Ncami (with a click) is the youngest of the older girls at 14. She isn’t always very talkative – until you get onto a topic she is passionate about! And then she won’t stop. Ncami is mature for her age so I was shocked when she told me she was only 14. She’s got a “don’t mess with me” vibe that I love – while being a real sweetheart on the inside. Next up is Celiwe (also with a click). Celiwe and I seemed to bond closely from the start. Before I was even placed in her house we had spent time praying and talking together about life. She’s 15 – but like Ncami, she seems a lot older. Celiwe is brave. She loves to speak her mind. She is definitely a social butterfly – and even though she might not agree with me yet – I can see a leader forming in her. Lindo is the oldest of my sisters at 16. Ah, Lindo. Throughout the day when I see her I can always expect her to run over and give me a hug and ask about my day – not just a general question, but like she really cares. She’s always begging me to come over on Saturdays, or to stay for a sleep over, or to stay later on Monday nights when I go over to their house. And Lindo is definitely the comedian of the family – one of those people who is just funny without trying to be funny! She’s great. They’re all great. I just can’t believe how blessed I am to have them. It’s amazing.

Oh and I can’t forget about my Make! Her name is Nomvula, but generally I just call her Make. She is hilarious. She’s not one of those sweaty sweet, doting type of moms and yet you can see that she loves her kids so much. She always has dinner prepared for when the older girls get home from school so that they won’t have to wait, since they’ve had such a long day. She always spends time with us together – playing games (she will never take it easy on me and let me win – I love it!) or playing with my hair or just chatting. And she even knit me a hat to match the other girls’ hats – so I would know I am a part of the family. The other day she called my phone and hung up (which we call “buzzing” here in the Swaz) and so I thought she wanted me to call her back. I hate calling people on the phone so I put it off for awhile, but then decided I should really give her a call. So I did. I asked her if she needed something from me because I had a missed call from her, but no, she said she was just thinking about me so she decided to “greet” me with a buzz. What a Make

In other news…

For all of ya’ll who think Africa is supposed to be HOT – think again. Africa is a big continent, so while some countries I’m sure are very hot, Swaziland does not seem to be one of them! Okay – it is hot sometimes. But recently (aka the last 2 days) it has been very, very, VERY, cold! As I sit here writing I am wearing socks, slippers, jeans, tank top, long sleeve shirt, sweater, knit vest, touque, and have a blanket wrapped around me with mittens sitting close in case my fingers start numbing again. Cement brick houses are apparently very good at keeping in the cold because I think it’s actually warmer outside right now than in this house. Though it’s pretty cold outside as well. Amy and I have been sleeping in socks, tights, pajama pants or sweats, shirts, and hoodies. And it’s only April! I’m telling you – we are in for some trouble when July hits! (Sorry to ruin your summer Mom and Dad!) And no, being from Canada does not mean we are accustomed to the cold – because in Canada houses are warm!

But I am very thankful Thankful for this huge house God has given us to live in, the blankets here to keep us warm, running water, and electricity most of the time! I know that if I’m cold here in this house with these things – my neighbors out in the community just down the street are a lot colder. Yesterday when it was very, very cold outside and raining, I saw a small toddler walking down the street with just a jacket on – no pants. I can’t imagine how cold they must be during the winters.

Yesterday at the hospital was hard. As we went around praying for the patients my group came to a woman they had prayed for a few weeks before – and she was doing significantly better. The last time they had been there she couldn’t speak or even move. Now, she was able to speak a little and also move some. But as soon as we got there and started talking to her she just broke down crying. At first I wondered if she had thrown up on her blanket because it was a mess, but then I realized it was her food. She began to tell us her story.

This lady is from South Africa. She didn’t say how or why she came to Swaziland, but somehow she was involved in a car accident while she was here. No one had contacted her family, no one even knew she was in the hospital. And that means that she has no one to take care of her. No one to feed her. No one to bathe her. And that’s why there was food all over her blanket. It broke my heart that she had been lying in the hospital for weeks, alone, with no one to care for her. In the West we would assume that the nurses would do these duties, but it’s different in a Swazi government hospital. You need your family to come care for you – or you won’t be cared for.

We did end up getting her mother’s cell phone number and helping her to make contact with Sonia’s phone. The nurses said when she is discharged they will contact the police and help her back to South Africa. So, we’ll see what happens.

As we were leaving the hospital we were told about a little girl who wanted prayer. She came to us, standing in the hallway, and began to tell us her story. She was tiny, maybe the size of a ten year old, but she was 14. Her parents had both died and she only had a sister, who was around 16. She had walked to the hospital by herself and was staying there by herself. She has a heart condition. She had no other clothes than the small dress she was wearing, no soap, no toothbrush, no towel, no shoes. So we prayed for her – and then we had to walk away.

It’s so hard. Because you want to do something that very moment. You want to just bring her home and dress her and feed her and give her a family. But you can’t. We are going to be bringing her some clothes and toiletries on Thursday, but as far as finding her a home, we have to go through the police and the Swazi child and family services. It’s not the answer you want.

But I’ve realized something about these types of situations. WE want to be the Savior. WE want to save the day. That very moment – that very second. But Jesus is the only one who is Savior. And He will take care of her. She is in His hands and He DOES have a plan for her. So if our hearts are broken, we need to get on our knees and start praying – because He can do so much more for her than any of us can.

So I never really expected to be doing this type of work in Africa- leadership training with teenagers. And I wasn’t overly excited about it. But I had a real moment of clarity when I was sitting talking with my small group. We were talking about the problems that they are faced with in Swaziland and whether or not they will try to be the ones to find solutions to those problems. And that’s when it really hit me – I’m not going to help Swaziland. But I can empower Swazis to help Swaziland. That is the only way change will ever happen.
God moved powerfully this weekend. It didn’t look like anything special from the outside – there weren’t trumpets blowing or miracles being performed – but lives were changed. During our last session of the day Jason spoke on healing and restoration in our lives and we did exercises where the kids broke into pairs and told each other their greatest fears and also their deepest hurts. The kids were from a secular school, not a Christian school, but many were crying so we just went around and started praying for them. And then Jason opened up the front asking anyone who would like to have prayer or would like to come seek Jesus to come up. Everyone went up. And it wasn’t a peer pressure type of situation either – as soon as the words were out of Jason’s mouth the kids were out of their chairs heading for the front.

It was beautiful.

I don’t know the whole stories behind these kids, but I do know a lot of them have suffered abuse, neglect, and rejection. And yet they had huge dreams! I was so inspired by my small group – Dema, Nele, Lindo, and Nana. Dema wants to be an accountant, then go to law school, and perhaps get a degree in science as well. Nana is determined to win a Grammy award and put Swaziland on the map. Lindo wants to be a chemical engineer – even though he’s not even sure if there are any chemical engineers in Swaziland! And Nele wants to be a doctor so she can help people in her community. And I fully believe these guys are going to chase their dreams with wild abandon – they are one passionate group of kids.

God keeps pushing me. I felt very inadequate to lead this group of youth. Some of them were my own age. What could I possibly give to these guys when I am not far from where they are? But He showed up, showed up through me. I was able to ask my small group some pretty deep questions, I got to know their lives, their passions, their dreams, and their worries. And I really have a love for them.

It’s been a great 2 days. We still have half a day left tomorrow, more just to hang out and have fun than to teach and learn. We will be going abseiling and hiking – so pretty much just repelling off a cliff somewhere. Hopefully everything goes well and everyone stays safe! (I’ve already heard some horror Jason stories.. they’re not encouraging..) As long as I don’t get my hair caught up in the clips I should be fine!